Mental Punctuation - Are you using an asterisk “*” or an Exclamation Mark “!” when running your life?
By Robert Kothe
First published 8/13/2009

Mental punctuation is the difference between success and failure when it comes to running your life. The very same statements can have completely different meanings depending on if the statement is intended to have an asterisk or an exclamation mark. An asterisk represents intended procrastination and conditions. An exclamation mark is that of definite determination and no set conditions.

People spend their entire lives making statements. People announce what they are going to do. People announce what they want to be if they could get their way. People also announce what they want to accomplish.  What most people do not realize is that many people make a statement that is followed by invisible punctuation, usually an asterisk or an exclamation mark.

What do I mean About an Invisible Asterisk?
You have probably seen many books that have an asterisk at the end of a sentence. The asterisk denotes a footmark at the bottom of the page implying that there is more information at the bottom of the page. In a way, the asterisk represents upcoming fine print.

A completely made up example:
“Ron Jacobson was credited as the writer of the song, “You’re the Leader of the World (copyright 2002)*”

* A lawsuit is currently pending by Ron’s former roommate Bill Blaster who claims he co-wrote the song when they shared an apartment after college. 

The fine print also exists with a people’s spoken statements (however the asterisk can not be seen.) In fact only the speaker of the statement really knows what they mean and what conditions they put on the statement. I call it “Mental Punctuation”.

People say things such as:
“I will be rich.”

What most people are saying is:
“I will be rich*.”

* If it is convenient, easy, does not take much energy on my behalf and does not interfere with my grueling television schedule.

Another example:
“Failure is not an option*.”

* Unless I fail. After all, I’m only saying this since my father and my coach believe me when I talk like this. I never told anybody but I actually hate football. I would rather be playing baseball.

Another example:

“Yes boss; I will get it done*.”

* I will only work on it because I can’t afford to loose my job. I am trying like crazy to get another job as soon as I can. When I do get a better job, I will drop this stupid project like it never existed.

What do I mean About an Invisible Exclamation Mark?
In writing, an exclamation mark is best known to add strength and credibility to a statement. Unlike a period (.), an exclamation mark screams out, “I am really serious about this sentence!”

When making a goal statement, stating a fact that somebody intends to fulfill, or simply believing in what you are saying, the mental punctuation mark exclaims that you will get it done without exception even if it takes a lifetime.
   
Now, let’s look at some of the above examples with an exclamation mark:

I will be rich!

Failure is not an option!

I will get it done! 

Do you see the difference when conditions are not added? It is the difference between lying to yourself and other verses knowing in your heart, no matter what it takes, you will accomplish what you set out to do.

Even an Exclamation Mark Has an Invisible Asterisk
In reality, an exclamation mark still has an invisible asterisk behind it. The difference is that the asterisk denotes positive and definitive statements.

“I will be rich!*”

* I will do whatever it takes. Failure is not an option. I will sacrifice whatever gets in the way in order for me to accomplish my goal.

Another example:
“Failure is not an option!*”

* I will practice all of the time. All I think about is becoming a professional football player. I will eat well and workout. I will keep a great attitude and never loose focus of my goals and dreams.

Yes boss, I will get it done!* 

* Although I may not love this job I always give everything my 100%. Every experience and effort if done right will forward my reputation and gain experience. I am a doer.

So where do these Invisible Mental Punctuations Reside?

Since most people are not even aware that they are setting conditions and footnotes in their statements, where do these footnotes actually reside? They might be invisible but they are important. The mental punctuation actually resides in the speakers subconscious and actions.

Attitude dictates actions. Actions dictate your results. The statements that are made are a reflection of the speaker’s belief in their goals and positions.

There are already dozens of books that write about mental speak and feeding your subconscious. They are great books and it is not my intention to re-invent the wheel. The purpose of this article is to get people to be aware of their statements and if they are really serious about the meaning of the statements that come out of their mouths.

Somebody once told me that there are two ways to kill a vampire. You can either have a violent battle and try to stab him with a steak through the heart or you can simply open the window and let the sunlight kill the vampire. The problem with steaking a vampire in the heart is you risk getting killed yourself. 

The easiest way to kill the vampire is to simply open the window.  I use this analogy for the very same reason the person used the analogy with me. It is not about the struggle it is simply about the awareness. Simply being aware that you used a statement with conditions

With mental punctuation it is about doing what you say you are going to do and knowing you will make it work. Success does not have to be a struggle it is having the awareness that you will do what it takes. Believe in yourself and take action.

Action, why did he have to bring that up?
You might have read the book or seen the movie called “The Secret”. Overall, it is about the law of attraction. The law of attraction state (I’m paraphrasing) that what you obsess on will come true. Even in “The Secret” they state that you need to take action.

Getting back to the Mental Punctuation – Does it really matter?

Getting back to the mental punctuation with the awareness of the actual symbol that you mentally ended at the end of the sentence. Ask yourself, did you add an asterisk or did you add an exclamation mark? More importantly, does it really matter as it relates to the statements that you make.

The reality in life is that most people lie to themselves and they also lie to others. This is a reality in life. In my first set of examples where the speaker used the asterisk instead of the exclamation mark, even though the speaker set conditions, there is nothing un-noble about the second speaker wanting to make his/her father and coach happy. In the third example, there isn’t anything wrong about the speaker wanting to keep his/her job even if there is bitterness in his/her heart.

In poker, it is not a good idea to reveal your cards when the hand is still being played. Making any statement is like playing a poker hand. Sometime saying the right thing is more important than believing what you say.

Make it count when it comes to your goals and dreams.

So when do you really need to make it count? You should make it count when it comes to your goals and your dreams. If you want to be successful, define success, and use an exclamation mark at the end of your own sentences.

If you tell yourself, “I will be successful!” Mean it! You are telling yourself that so why would you want to sabotage your own success with conditions, lies, and compromises.

As I mentioned earlier, Just thinking, saying and believing you will be successful does not mean anything without taking action. So do something positive and consistently to move yourself closer to your goals and dreams.

Putting this all Together
Ever since I personally came to this realization about if I even use an asterisk or an exclamation mark it has been enlightening to ask myself if I really mean it. Previously, I never took the extra step and challenge myself for the truth.  Now I qualify all of my statements and ask myself if I mean it and if there are any conditions.

When I shared my realization with some friends, they too had a realization about their own statements and if they too used an asterisk or an exclamation mark. The awareness of this concept was simple yet powerful. Taking the extra step and realizing that although the original statement sounds good there might be fine print involved that they were not previously aware of.

Think about your own mental punctuation next time you set your own goals and make a verbal commitment to yourself and the people around you.